My Silent Pen...an early hours confession Inspiration

Bismillah...

I find much peace in the silence of my pen,

for when it writes it blares my screams from within;

or the shouts from the tip top of my brain;

my hope is that the best of me will keep me sane...

And she usually does, or at least that's her claim;

But I know it's Almighty GOD & the remembrance of HIS name....

One of my greatest lovers is the ability to write;

Yet instead of taking it by the hand I put up such a fight;

a fight driven by the fear that others may see the distortion in my light;

surely my essence knows better, but I'm constantly running from her insight...

Yes, there is much freedom in releasing the ink,

but it's more sacred than my blood for it exposes what I think,

which most times is on the brink of me trying not to sink...

Don't get me wrong with me strength does reside;

but it's more for you not me because my weaknesses I must hide;

no one can know there's a needy Amelah so I prop her head up with pride...

Not a pride of arrogance but a pride of disguise;

because of my inner weaknesses, only GOD can be the wise;

So in the small of the night I release my weeping eyes

and into the chest of my LORD I unleash my soulful cries...

for that is my only refuge from the devil's constant lies...

So maybe there isn't much peace in the silence of my pen;

for unless I allow it to speak I may explode from within;

and surely self destruction is considered a major sin;

and the best of all lovers is one who is also your friend...

For the sake of self love my friendship with writing I must regain;

it will help me in the process of quieting the chatter in my brain,

falling second only to the frequent & faithful remembrance of my LORD's name

It's my divine right to have inner peace so I begin my journey to stake my claim...

May ALLAH be pleased...ameen